Keeping a contact log · Evidence and records · Communicating with the other parent · Statements and lawyers · Before and during a hearing · Indirect contact and estranged children
Keeping a contact log
Custody evidence
How to track missed custody time so your numbers hold up
Count hours lost, not occasions lost. The unit you choose decides whether your numbers survive.
Co-parenting log
What to write in a co-parenting log (even on the good days)
The most persuasive records are the long, boring, consistent ones.
Co-parenting log
Why boring entries make the best co-parenting journal
Two minutes. Even today. Especially if today was fine.
Family court mindset
How to prepare for family court without turning it into an argument
You are not building an argument. You are building a record.
Evidence and records
Saving messages
Screenshots vs exports: how to save text messages for court
A screenshot is a picture of evidence. The export is the evidence.
Organise your evidence
How to name and organise evidence files for family court
Name every file exactly like this: 2026-03-14_school-email_address-change.pdf
Custody evidence
Everyday evidence of parenting time most parents throw away
The receipt in your pocket right now is evidence. Most people throw it away.
Custody evidence
How to use your phone's call log as evidence of contact
Your phone has been keeping a record this whole time. Export it.
Custody evidence
How to rate your custody evidence: strong, medium or weak
Not everything in your file carries the same weight. Treating it as if it does is the fastest way to lose credibility.
Building a chronology
How to start a family court chronology
Before you write a tidy chronology, build a messy one.
Building a chronology
How to handle gaps in your custody timeline honestly
"I reviewed it and found nothing" is a different claim from "nothing happened."
Custody evidence
How to document a decline in co-parent communication
Less communication and less meaningful communication are two different claims.
Communicating with the other parent
Co-parent messages
BIFF responses: brief, informative, firm, friendly
Four words for every difficult co-parenting message you have to send.
Grey rock method
Grey rock with a co-parent: how to do it properly
Grey rock is widely recommended. It's also widely done in a way that will be used against you.
Co-parent messages
How to reply to a hostile co-parent message
Never send it angry. Twenty minutes is usually enough.
Co-parent messages
Check every co-parenting message before you send it
Read it back in the voice of someone who is not on your side.
Co-parenting
Never use your child as a messenger between homes
Not even "ask your mum what time on Sunday."
Statements and lawyers
Writing your statement
5 words to avoid in a family court statement
Absolutes feel strong when you write them. They are the weakest sentences in the document.
Writing your statement
Why you shouldn't call your ex a narcissist in court papers
Behaviour, dates, sources. Every time.
Writing your statement
What to put in a custody statement besides the other parent's faults
Lead with who you are. Concerns after, calmly and specifically.
Writing your statement
How to quote text messages in a custody statement
Never quote a fragment. Read the whole message first.
Writing your statement
How to write about your child's wishes in a court statement
"They told me they don't want to go" is one of the riskiest sentences you can write.
Writing your statement
How to ask the court for what you actually want
A grievance is not a request. A court can only grant a request.
Working with a lawyer
What to bring to your first meeting with a family lawyer
Pay for advice, not for someone to build your chronology.
Working with a lawyer
5 questions to ask a family lawyer in the first meeting
Ask them in the first meeting, not the fifth.
Before and during a hearing
Before the hearing
How to find the weak spots in your custody case before court
Build the case against yourself, before their lawyer does.
Before the hearing
A surprising way to strengthen your custody case
Write the other parent's case at its strongest, then answer it.
Before the hearing
Why you should disclose your own weak points in a custody case
Put the detail that hurts your case in yourself, before anyone finds it.
Before the hearing
How to prioritise the weak points in your custody case
Rank them by damage, not by how bad they made you feel to find.
Before the hearing
Be honest about your own mistakes in a custody case
If you were late, say so, before they say it for you.
Giving evidence
How to give evidence in family court: answer, then stop
Credibility is built by precision, not by having an answer for everything.
Indirect contact and estranged children
Indirect contact
Indirect contact letters: what to write to your child
Write it to your child. Assume an adult reads it first.
Indirect contact
What not to put in an indirect contact letter
The fastest way to have your letters stopped is to put one of these in.
Indirect contact
Ideas for letters to your child during indirect contact
Twelve unconnected letters do less than one continuing story.
Estranged children
When an older child stops speaking to you after separation
Everything you send says the same thing: I'm here. There's nothing you have to do.
Estranged children
What not to send when your child has gone quiet
Everything on this list feels like love when you send it. None of it lands that way.
Estranged children
How often to contact a child who isn't replying
Less than you want to. Far more reliably.
Estranged children
Loving messages that put pressure on an estranged child
Not "is this kind?" but "what does this ask of them?"