"They told me they don't want to go."
It may be completely true. It's still one of the riskiest sentences you can put in a statement, because of everything carried inside it that you can't evidence.
What a reader hears
A parent presenting their own interpretation of a child's feelings as established fact, secondhand.
That's exactly what professionals in family proceedings are trained to be careful with. It doesn't mean they'll disbelieve you. It means the sentence won't carry the weight you want it to.
Instead
Record precisely:
- what was said, in the child's own words
- when
- to whom
- in what circumstances
Then let it stand on its own, without your reading of it layered on top.
The bigger overreach
Claiming that a child's stated views are "really" the other parent's words. It's common and understandable, and it's very risky without solid evidence behind it.
Don't go looking
If your child volunteers something, note it and stop. Follow-up questions can read as coaching, and to a trained evaluator, coaching is usually obvious.
The paradox
When a child says something that worries you, wanting it taken seriously is the most natural response there is. But the plainer you record it, with no framing, no interpretation and no conclusion attached, the more seriously it tends to be taken.
Their words, dated and exact. Not your account of what they meant.
If anything your child says raises a concern about their safety, speak to your lawyer, their school or the relevant authorities where you live. Don't wait for a statement.
General information, not legal advice. Court process differs between countries and regions; check anything that matters to your case with a qualified lawyer where you live.
Chapters 14 and 16 of the workbook cover speaking for your children, and preparing them if they will be spoken to by a professional: reassuring without coaching. Worksheet C, the chronology, is where their exact words are recorded, dated and sourced.
See the workbook & spreadsheet